The viewpoint of many people in our society is warped. That is a fact! It is important we do not follow the crowd blindly. I know we are born in a society that glorifies wealth, material successes and alphaness, but we need to do some retrospection and see whether those things we have been doing or have not been doing is healthy or we should try something new. This does not mean there is anything wrong in being ambitious or striving to accomplish your goals, but you need to be careful so that those obsessions would not destroy your life in the long run. If you look around you will see that a lot of rich Nigerian guys who are really unhappy, even when it seems they have it all. In other words, wealth alone does not guarantee happiness. This brings us to our very first obsession every Nigerian must quit.
1. STOP ACTING LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE
Whether you are a man or a woman, you are a human. You have feelings. It is pathetic that men were raised with the idea that it is not normal for a man to show such feelings as frustration, envy, guilt, fear, worry, anger, anxiety, etc. The reality is that life is hard, and it is hard for everybody, especially for men. So if it is hard for you, why are you the one who cannot really express it? Why are you the one who is supposed to suppress your feelings? I am not telling you to be crying 24/7 like a spoilt child. It is an ugly sight for a girl, talk more of a guy. But you need to release and vent your emotions because taking the other route is self-destructive. There is no container in your system where you can bottle up your emotions, else you will blow up someday, and it will be embarrassing. So learn to vent to one person or go seek a professional help, like a therapist. Remember that aphorism? “It’s okay not to be okay.”
Stop putting a facade. You look at Instagram. You see the pictures of friends having a good time. You see people bubbly as if everything is cool with them. You get envious and want to be like them. What are people doing on Instagram? They are showcasing the best part of themselves, and then returning to their miseries. Few people will come to tell you their problems.
Stop thinking, ‘Oh I can’t express myself. If I do I’ll be seen as weak.’ Do not feel crazy for not feeling okay. It is fine.
SOLUTION: Find somebody to talk to, or write down things on your diaries.
2. OBSESSION WITH WOMEN
Yeah. Women are beautiful. Everyone knows that. But if all you do is to get some random girls or to impress them on a regular, then you are missing the purpose of your life. The purpose of life itself is not to chase everything wearing a skirt. If vagina is your priority or you are preoccupied with it, I am telling you, it is a problem.
If you are that guy who is on Instagram looking at the pictures of women, DMing them with your copy-and-paste messages, hoping that one of them is going to respond. Stop! What are you doing? The best thing for you to do is to focus on yourself. If you focus on yourself then everything you need will come to you. You do not need to send a hundred thousand DMs. They would come to you. It will only happen when you focus on yourself. Also, stop tolerating all kind of nonsense from women simply because she is pretty. Do not allow anyone to treat you like a doormat.
BOTTOM LINE: I will recommend you stop looking at her beauty alone. Start looking at her brain and her personality.
3. OBSESSION OVER MATERIAL POSSESSIONS
Nigerian men like going to club, ordering bottles of expensive drinks and spoiling their friends with money. If you are not a celebrity like Wizkid, I do not see how you can recover from spending such an amount money. The truth is that you are seeking for validation. In other words, you think when you acquire cars, wristwatches and houses, people are going to admire you the more and you will feel good. Well, it only shows you are insecure.
Some guys go to the extent of borrowing money to impress people.
You must make a clear distinction between what you want and what you truly need. If what you want is not something you can afford, you leave it alone.
4. OBSESSION OVER HAVING AN AMAZING BODY
It is okay to dream of a great body. But do not go overboard by taking performance pills or steroids.
Do not be obsessed over six packs. You just need to eat healthy and exercise enough, that is all.
You need to go to the gym everyday. You body needs sleep and adequate rest too.
5. TOO MUCH LEARNING AND NO ENOUGH ACTION
Most Nigerian guys read a lot. They also listen to podcasts and do everything to improve themselves. It is cool. It is cooler to take action after reading any good book, instead stuck piling up books without applying what is in them.
Actually, the whole idea of success is trial and error. Try to make that first move. Do it again and again and again. Then you will see how you will improve overtime.
When you never start, you will never know if it is going to work. Life is about testing. Do not be complacent.
CONCLUSION: If you identify these obsessions and work on them, I assure you of definite success.